What do you do when you aren't your normal cheerful self and you down and there is no one to talk to. All your friends are at least two and half hours away living their own lives. And if you are able to get one of them on the phone to express how you are feeling mostly what you're going to get is how they know how you feel because they are down as well. I can simpathize with that but sometimes misery doesn't love company sometimes you are looking for someone to give you an answer to a way out. I know most people will tell me to take it to God which is what I usually do first. But God can't hold my hand God can't offer me a shoulder to cry on.
What do you do when you need human contact and there is none available. Little too old to go out and try and find it from some random stranger. And since I still have two children under the age of 18 that still need a mother I can't just crawl up in a hole somewhere and cease to exist. Ever feel tired? Not physically but mentally tired? Tired of trying because you've done everything that you know you are supposed to do but nothing is going the way it is supposed to be and the only person you can really go to is God and evidently he's not answering because evidently I guess your going through something you are supposed to be going through right now all by yourself.
But I am tired of being Tonya Me Myself and I. I want help. I want love. I want a shoulder to cry on and warm arms to craddle me because I know that I deserve that. I want someone to talk to who talks to me wether it is a man in my life or a close friend. And I want this to be the last time I am tired of not having my life the way I want it to be.
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