The Golden Years (my short story)

I pulled over to the side of the road to give myself time to recover. I don’t know the last time I had felt so elated. When was the last time I laughed. Really laughed. It felt so freeing. The tears flowing from my eyes felt so cleansing as if the stress and the restraints that had been my life were somehow flowing out with the tears that lined my face. My chest somehow felt lighter as if a an invisible weight had been lifted. I had heard people use that term before never knowing what that meant. Or thinking it just a figure of speech. But in this moment I knew what it meant.

Though I was enjoying the moment and believed I was entitled to it I knew I was going to have to think of an apology for Mrs. Carter for my behavior. I’m sure it wouldn’t take much to get back into her good graces. That would make me one less person to gossip about. I was sure that even now the phone lines had to be lit up.

Besides she might start wondering about my behavior. How I was acting a bit out of the norm. I’m sure her imagination wouldn’t be able to deduce that I had killed my husband and stored his body in the freezer but, I still needed to be careful when he didn’t show up in a couple of weeks back from his trip. I’m sure she would be asking questions.

But I had the rest of the day to worry about that and I didn’t take the time to make myself look nice this morning to be worrying about Mrs. Carter I still had to stop off at the bank and treat myself to lunch and I wasn’t going to let what if’s destroy my day.

There were a lot more cars in the bank parking lot than usual. I guess since I was use to getting here much earlier I never had to encounter the other customers that did their business on their lunch hour. But of course that was okay. What did I care about a little line at the bank I had no place to be and besides with it being lunchtime it might make it harder for me to get a table at a restaurant. This way I could kill some time no pun intended.

As I entered the bank I could tell the atmosphere was a lot different than it was when I came earlier in the day. Impatience seemed to saturate the air. Some of the customers appeared to stare at the clock on the wall trying to will the second hand from moving. Others agitated looking around as if trying to decide if coming back another time would be beneficial. These people were on their lunch breaks and had to get back to their jobs and evidently they needed to be there soon. And right now there was a gentlemen letting one of the tellers know just how unhappy he was about having had to wait. The teller was expressing her apologies but he didn’t seem to care. Probably not even mad about the wait but dealing with some other issue and taking it out on her. I could sympathize with him, having had my own woes to deal with over the years but, all he was doing now was causing the other customers to become more frustrated.

And the poor teller didn’t deserve him berating her for something that was out of her control. She, I am sure, had enough to deal with each day. Having to deal with irate customers that came in and took their frustrations out on her just for the hell of it. What if she decided she had had enough and came from behind the glass with a heavy object and bashed his brains in. Maybe a baseball bat or something. I am sure she didn’t have a baseball bat hidden behind the counter but I’m sure she probably wish she had one right now. She’d shut him up for good. Or at least give him something to think about the next time he wanted to yell at somebody.

Finally he was leaving with his head still intact. She was thanking him for his service and wishing him a nice day. Which I doubt he was going to have. I don’t know how they dealt with these people and still kept a smile on their faces. But, I would make sure to thank her before I left today for all the wonderful services I had received from them through out the years.

When it was my turn at the window I could tell that the smile on her lips didn’t quite reach her eyes. The smile a bit mechanical. From the back of the line she had seemed to be a lot younger but as I stood there looking at her I could see that the years of working at such a stressful job had taken it’s toll on her. She wore a ton of foundation trying to cover up the wrinkles that had started to form at her brow and forehead and she wore a bit too much mascara on her lashes. It was thick, caked and dried. Funny that I didn’t ever remember seeing her before but I was sure she was a regular because she greeted me by name when I got to the window.

She even seem to have a startled look on her face as if taken aback by my appearance.

“ How are you doing today?” she asked.

“Oh me, I am doing great. But it seems that yours is not going quite so well as mine.”

“Excuse me.” she said looking a bit confused.

“The gentleman that was here a little earlier.”

“Oh yeah, I had already forgotten about that. Comes with the job.” she said as she shrugged her shoulders.

It was as if to say she had given up hope of her life being any different. Excepting life as it was as if this was all it had to offer so she just dealt with it. Her life as mechanical as the smile she wore. And I am sure that just a day ago that that was probably me. I wish that I could tell her that. Tell her how just this morning I had changed my life for the better. But, of course I couldn’t. Not if I wanted to enjoy the rest of my day. So all I did was thank her for her help. I thought about commenting on her mascara but thought better of it. She thanked me for coming in and told me to have a nice day. Not really caring if I did. But I told her in no uncertain terms that I would.

As I left the bank I realized that I had been wrong about my earlier assumptions if she had been wishing for a baseball it would have been to bash her own head in.